Sex is vital in every romantic relationship because it helps couples to stay connected with each other emotionally and physically. But what if sex leaves the bedroom or if couples rarely or have no sexual activities at all anymore? A sexless marriage is defined as a marriage where couples have little or no sexual activities with each other. A couple with less than 10 sexual intercourse in a year can also be considered in a sexless marriage. The absence of sexual intimacy in a marriage is not always bad, if both spouses honesty feel that they are satisfied and happy in their relationship even without an active sex life, then a sexless marriage is okay and works for them. But if the lack of physical intimacy in a marriage is not okay and makes a spouse feel unloved and unhappy, it is best to fix a sexless marriage as early as possible before it could lead to other marital problems.
At the beginning of marriage, couples usually cannot take their hands off each other and have sex as frequent as they can but sadly, couples in a long-term relationship like marriage tend to have less and less sex through the years. The frequent times a week becomes once a month and the once a month becomes twice or thrice a year to nothing at all. Believe it or not, there are married couples who no longer have sex with each other, not even once in a year. They get too familiar with each other, too stressed, too busy, too preoccupied with marital responsibilities, not in the mood, neglected, hurt, etc. and the list of excuses goes on and physical intimacy begins to fade, they become just roommates instead of lovers. To fix a sexless marriage, couples should do something to keep the sex going in the relationship. The following ways can be very useful to fix a sexless marriage.
Address the problem as early as possible. There are reports saying that it is best for couples to have regular sex at least once a week to keep the intimacy and connection with each other. If you and your spouse haven’t had sex for a couple of months now, you have to ask questions and seek help as soon as possible so that months don’t become years. Sexual inactivity or sexual deprivation could result to other negative feelings and behaviors like detachment, depression, anger, anxiety, frustration, feeling of rejection, etc. Couples may also become susceptible to extra-marital affairs, thinking that if they cannot get if from their spouse, they should get it somewhere else. The longer it takes for you and your spouse to address the problem, the harder and more challenging it would be to fix a sexless marriage.
Help each other to get back on track and get into the mood for sex again. It takes effort and team work to fix a sexless marriage. Couples should help each other if they want to bring back the physical intimacy and passion in their marriage. Be open and honest with each other and talk about sex in your relationship, how it becomes dry through the years and what both of you can do to zest up your sex life and become sexually active again. Break the routine and do something new. Send the kids to grandma and grandpa or have a nanny takes care of them so that you and your spouse can enjoy alone time with each other without thinking about the children. Turn the phone off and get rid of possible distractions. Take a vacation, a trip together or a marriage retreat. Watch and read erotic movies or stories together. Talk about each other’s sexual fantasies or desires. If you can’t work things out on your own, it is best to seek professional help, counseling or therapies.
Include sex in your plans and schedule. It may sound like a task or a job but think of it as something that you need to accomplish on a regular basis to keep the intimacy and passion in your marriage. If sex is included in your plans and schedule, you are committed and you’ll make time for it and you’ll make sure you’re prepared for it. If you want to fix a sexless marriage and if you want a marriage with a healthy sex life, you have to commit to make it happen. It as an important task to keep your relationship and your sex life healthy. Couples who regularly have sex tend to feel more intimate and closer with each other. Regular sex is good not only to your marriage but also to your physical and mental health.
Be sweet, make a request instead of complaining. If you feel that you’ve been turned down many times, it is best not to complain but make a sweet request. Complaining makes the problem even worse. Who would want to have sex with someone who complains a lot? It is better to be more positive and choose to interpret his or her lack of enthusiasm to have sex in a kindest possible way and do not choose the ugliest reasons or interpretations. Being too negative will not fix a sexless marriage. A sweet request to your spouse could melt his or her heart and has a better chance of success than complaining that you haven’t had sex lately. Be romantic and choose the best time that your spouse is in good mood. If you cannot make a request verbally, write a letter to your spouse to express your love and your desires to passionately share the bed with him or her.
Examine and analyze yourself. If you feel that you are in a sexless marriage due to your lack of sex drive or interest towards sex and you want to fix a sexless marriage, analyze why you don’t want sex anymore or why you don’t enjoy it anymore. There must be a reason behind it. There could be a psychological and physical side on it. It could be a physical condition that needs to be checked by a doctor or it could be an emotional thing or a negative feeling that needs to be addressed.
Be realistic and look past that weight or shape issues. Women could gain weight through the years due to child-bearing or other reasons and men could acquire beer belly but couples should be realistic that most people change in shapes and sizes through the years and these should not prevent couples from enjoying a healthy and active sex life. Make your spouse feel that she or he is still attractive and lovable in whatever size and shape he or she is in. However, if shapes and sizes are such big things to you and you want to see your spouse in a good shape, deal with it in a positive way. Do physically challenging things together like sports or go to the gym together to be healthy and fit but do not allow the weight issues ruin your sex life.
Have a regular date night. If you want to fix a sexless marriage, start outside the bedroom. Couples should remain in love and romantic even outside the bedroom. If you keep dating and the romance is still alive, getting back on track and reigniting your sex life could be less challenging. The common mistake couples commit is that they stopped dating once they’ve said their “I do’s.” It is best for couples to make time for regular dates. Couples are not only providers, not only parents but they are also lovers. Do not allow the responsibilities of married life take away the romance in your marriage. Date a lot because chances are, after a romantic date, you’ll end up in bed sharing intimate moments with each other.