First Steps To Save Your Marriage

nyHow do you go about trying to save your marriage?

For one, stop fighting with your spouse over stupid things.

Another step to save your marriage is stop using work and the kids as an excuse for having a horrible relationship.

Also, do at least one positive thing each day to make your marriage better.

Can you imagine how much better your marriage could be if you took these baby steps over the next 30 to 60 days?

Now, obviously changing your relationship from bad to good to great won’t happen overnight. But I assure you that it will never happen if you don’t start taking steps to save your marriage.

How about you start right now? Send your spouse a text message or email and simply say “I love you”. Nothing more and nothing less!

If you feel good after sending such a text you have just taken a baby step forward to save your marriage. Now, you do realize that in order to keep moving forward you can’t say I love you in a text message and call your spouse an idiot later in the day because he or she forgot to do something you asked to be done.

Positive words of affirmation are quickly erased and replaced by negative and sarcastic comments. Your spouse will not receive your kind and loving words if they are followed by mean, nasty and hurtful words and actions. You will have no credibility and thus your kind words or actions will not be received as such by your spouse.

One of the steps mentioned above is that you stop fighting over stupid things. We all mess up from time to time. Some of us more than others! Take time to think about what you fight about. Is it a fight worth having?

If it’s about unimportant things is it worth losing your marriage over it? If your marriage is sinking, every argument or fight puts it further and further underwater. When the baggage in the marriage gets too heavy, the marriage ends.

Why bury your marriage over petty issues. Be the more mature one and reduce the amount of childish fights you get into with your spouse. Keep in mind that you can’t tell your spouse that you are being the more mature one and thus you are not willing to fight anymore. That’s not very mature. Let your actions speak louder than your words.

As noted earlier it’s so very easy to use work and kids as an excuse for your marital problems. Don’t let that excuse drive you into divorce court. So many couples blame work and the kids for their marriage failure. You can have a job, kids and a good marriage. When you are struggling at work you put in extra time and effort to get better. You do the same thing when you see your kids growing up and becoming distant.

Why is it acceptable to become distant from your spouse? The person you promised to love and cherish, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer.

Make time for your spouse and you will have more than enough time for work and the beautiful kids you have.

Finally, make it a habit of saying or doing at least one kind thing for your spouse every day. It could be an encouraging word, a short note, an unexpected kind act or anything that would let your spouse know that he or she is loved and appreciated.

You don’t have to spend money on your spouse to make him or her happy, just thoughtful time.

Follow the simple advice noted above and you will be on your way to saving your marriage.